My breasts are too small and these creams are not doing any magic.
Which creams please? How much did you get them for?
$100 o, for the cream and tabs.
Oh wow! All these for bigger breasts? If your B cup is small, what do I say about my A cup?
Why are you removing your blouse like you’re trying to seduce me?
Haha, please this is how to seduce a man.
Which man will like those breasts of yours?
The man I’m shagging right now. He does not have to love them, I am the one who has to love them. Once I love them, he has no choice than to do same.
You are wild!
Let me tell you, buddy is good! I landed me a hot and sexy dude who knows how to touch me in all the right places. Aaargh! And he has big bombom, big taahaa and a big heart! Romantic beyond my imagination.
You bore me.
I kid you not girl, that guy is experienced.
Is this why you have condoms carelessly scattered in your room?
It’s my room, big head. Let the condoms be great.
Do you even use them?
What’s the point?
You’re wild, you should be careful.
With? Sex? Please!
You should consider a normal relationship.
What makes the relationship ‘normal’? Is your relationship normal?
Well we’ve been through a lot and we still stand strong. You’re not doing yourself any good with this Friends with Benefits rubbish you do?
Girl, your relationship also falls into the FWB category except that you have boring, routine sex with him. In mine, there are no boundaries!
What happened to you girl?
Life! Learn to live.
You’re taking a big risk. You’re putting your heart at risk of getting broken.
And a normal relationship will not break my heart eventually? You forget the last one I was in? That demon I loved so much but who eventually dumped my sorry ass for a little girl from his part of the country. Did we not agree in the beginning to be in a normal relationship? Bitch please! Ain’t no one going to be in a normal relationship just now, talking about sticking to one man. Do you know how many dates I’ve gone on? Yes baby, I still date men but I shag only one.
Holy crap! My stomach is empty again.
All those food you eat and you still skinny.
Yeah I know right.
You’ve been dancing all of your food away and when you dance, you look funny. What with all those bones of yours hanging about.
Hahaha! Live, baby live. I love my body.
Wear some clothes please.
I am a nudist!
With a guest!
Doesn’t change anything. I am a nudist. I should try this cream of yours on my babies, let’s see what they do.
Those breasts of yours won’t grow out one inch until you poop out a real life baby.
Hahaha! And yours will grow an inch? Why do you hate them?
I don’t hate them!
Oh you just don’t like how small they look?
Yeah I guess. The boyfriend says he likes them though.
So what’s with the insecurity?
I’m not inse…
Look, if after shagging, buddy tells me my breasts are beautiful, I just smile and say ‘yeah I love them too’.
If he says so to me, I feel it’s because he is not satisfied with them and just does not want to hurt me.
Whatever happened to loving yourself first?
I love myself.
Oh shut up! Breast size don’t mean he won’t like you regardless. I like buddy and his big bombom but if I fall in love with a man today and his behind is small, I won’t dump him. His having a big behind will only be a plus if he ends up having one.
Speaking of bombom, here take these panties.
Why? You don’t like them?
I don’t look sexy in them. I don’t understand why my bombom is flat!
Hmm, I bet this will look good on me.
Look how that one sits well on you?
Yes it does.
That’s because the creator blessed you silly. Nice hair, beautiful body, gorgeous figure…
And a good head that tells me to be happy everytime.
What do you mean?
You and I should stop being friends.
You are too negative and I cannot cope.
Because I said my bombom is flat?
No, because you don’t think you are good enough. You think you are too fat, have small breasts and flat behind. Have you not learnt from me?
Don’t insult me!
I’m not, I’m actually serious. We can’t be friends but I’m grateful for the panties.
I’ve got church in an hour, I should go prepare.
Yes you should.
Have a nice day then.
You too. Love you!
She stares at the man who loves her, his sunken eyes look to her like the sun in its glory, his scars like a shrunken flower petal kept between the pages of a book and put away for years, alive in it’s own right when the rest of it is dead and gone; a memory always looked after. When he stares back at her, she knows she will never have him.
She rests on the back of the man who loves her, speechless they stare into blank space each understanding unspoken words and lost in the nuance that theirs would never be a dream come true.
Words come out as grunts when he plants a kiss on her cheek and as moans when he bites into her neck slowly but consistently and then as pleas when she feels the wetness in her pants and the fear that she would soon lose what resistance she put up grips her as she tearfully jerks his hands off her hips and sadly announces her plan to take a leave. His pleas beat drums in her ears. Deaf to his words, she walks away, satisfied she knows now his love language.
Time, she tells the other. Time and yours is touch.
Furious tears from broken heart
Hid deftly with courtly smile
Perfect world fallen apart
Healing shall surely be a while.
Aidee (November 13, 2015)
The video making rounds about the husband penguin who fought hard with a home wrecker in order to save his marriage but lost, is very disturbing. What makes it disturbing is that the media portrays the female penguin as a cheating wife and the male penguin, a hero. No one wants to hear the female’s story and it hurts.
As usual, the media has influenced a vast majority of people who now believe that the female penguin deserves all things bad. There are questions a lot of us did not ask.
1. What if the ‘wife’ was fed up with her husband’s marathon cheating?
2. According to the report, the husband came home from a long trip to find his wife with a dude. What exactly was he doing away from home for so long? Could it be that he went away because he had a side chick he was seeing?
3. What if the ‘husband’ was a wife-beater and the ‘wife’ had filed for a divorce which was granted but because he heard rumors about his wife being happy, he decided to ruin her happiness.
4. What if they are both separated because he cheated and when the lady he cheated on his wife with, showed him her true colors, he realized his wife was a great asset but when he returned, it was already too late for him?
5. What if they are not even married but he is a stalker who just wanted to have the ‘lady’ by all means?
6. What if he abused their child?
The story making rounds is a single story. There are more sides to it and we really should cut the lady penguin some slack until we hear her side, and the ‘home wrecker’s side of the story. Meanwhile the lady penguin has to be protected because it appears humans are against her decision to stand with the man who brings her more joy. I want to believe she gave her ‘husband’ the opportunity to change but he did not and when he returned, he was not convincing enough. She found happiness and really does not need her ex waltzing back into her life like he owns it.
Watch video here.
Last night, my neighbour may have slept with her pillows to her ears as I listened to and sang along with Michael W. Smith, “Your grace, your grace shines on me. Shines on me, shines on me, I’m everything with you. Shines on me, shines on me. It’s your grace”.
I did a vigil last night and this song was all I sang. It was and is still on replay.
It’s a clear Saturday and rather than dress up and go out, I just want to remain naked on my bed. Mama had to scold me for ignoring her calls and answering baby brother’s calls. Why blame me? I love my siblings and I feel responsible for them. I have watched them grow from new borns to toddlers and now to near-teenagers and I miss that I am not there to guide them in their decision making. I have read the letters they always sneak into my bag in the rare occasions that I visit home.
“I love you, big sis. I will never forget you”.
“Big sis, please come home next time. Daddy is very boring”.
“You are the best sister in the world”.
Tell me why I should forget people who think of me, pray for me, pray with me, scold me and tell the world about me? This is family. Family is everything!
I stare at my phone and wonder why this man keeps calling. This is weird. Few days ago, his call would have been promptly answered. We would talk for some time about life and work and he would seek my advise regarding some decisions he wants to make. Then he would express appreciation and be thankful for my wonderful soul. Now, these calls are a waste of time, they are like unwanted visitors trying to share my space with me when my space belongs to me and no one else.
I do not want any more attention and have unconsciously filtered my friends – no time for past lovers, friends who have shallow discussions, people who type in shorthand etc.
I would deactivate my Facebook if I had not sent out the link to companies where I applied for internship. Who knows when they decide to investigate?
One thing that has always come easy to me is dreaming. I set a goal and fiercely reach for it. Birthdays aren’t at all holidays. If I needed a holiday, I’d give myself one. Working hard happens everyday so today, I begin to make new plans. The old plans do not seem to be working out and if anything, today reminds me that I do not have the luxury of making time look like a stopclock.
It is a good thing dad taught me early on the importance of having backup plans. I think of the good man that I am proud of, who raised me and I look forward to the day I’ll bring home a man and have dad sit with and talk to him.
Now that I think of it, I realize he has never really succeeded in making me talk about some boyfriend. He did try the other day I went home when he called me out and stammered some words, shifting uncomfortably on his chair. I had to save him the stress. “Daddy, I’m not dating anyone. If I am, I’ll tell mummy and she’ll tell you”. Fathers! One day he’ll read this, I know.
It’s the start of my 25th year today and what makes it different from other days is the unsolicited attention I am getting. I have had to block all incoming calls on two of my phones while I placed the third phone on silent. I think the difference between today and yesterday is that I’m starting a new year but I still miss my family – siblings who always have my back, a mother who is more an older sister to have girl talk with and laugh over boys especially her boyfriend who happens to be my dad, a father who would forget all my sins and still welcome me with his breast and run around the house threatening ‘won’t you come and suck breast?’ because I used to love breast as a baby. I know he will call me later this evening and as usual tell me to go catch the goat that just ran past me because that’s my birthday present. Family is everything and I guess this is what I am grateful for today and always – Family.
Happy 25 to the girl with the never-fading smile.
When all hope is lost and friends leave your side, those who are your true family will always be there for you through it all – Aidee Erhime
Well I am actually putting this here for posterity sake. Opinions are welcome. Read full story on Godless Cranium’s blog.
I watched a video earlier about the 200 (or so) people who left an Amy Shumer show after she made jokes about Trump.
To be honest, I wasn’t impressed by the jokes or the fact that she called an audience member up on stage just to mock him because he said he wouldn’t vote for Hilary. However, that’s neither here nor there, since going to a comedy show often results in embarrassment for someone in the crowd.
I don’t really care that she used her free speech to politicize her comedy routine or that people used their feet to protest by leaving the show.
What I really took issue with is the person in the video (you can find the video at the end of this post) saying that Amy Shumer was a hypocrite because as a feminist, she had admitted to sexually assaulting a man who was drunk when she was in…
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I miss you, I find words to say that I do but words fail to express a certain feeling and people say it is called love – never expressly expressed and coming out as jargon so you find the scattered pieces and try to make sense of anything.
In my lover, I’d see a gap that needs to be filled and promises that may never see fruition and in me, a fear that life’s unfairness would happen again…but I miss you and a kiss shared would prove that my strength may find flapping wings and escape to the skies, leaving me to the mercy of your kiss and memories of a love that went sour.
Hello strong lady,
I call you strong lady because you’ve probably heard it a thousand times from people. We are strong women who take pride in our strength. We because I am you.
Our strength is not just buried in our vaginas, we command so much respect because we know what it feels like to live in a world where the fittest survives and our drive to succeed takes us to places we have imagined we’d be.
Being a strong girl is tough work. It is tough to keep up with. People expect you to behave a certain way and though it comes with a sort of respect because the strong girl does not follow norms, it also comes with a feeling of loneliness. No one likes to feel helpless.
Reflecting on the conversation I had earlier today with my good friend, Tarfa, I realized that the attraction people have for the strong girls usually leads to fear and this fear,though good at times, is unhealthy.
I met a total of 21 strangers in the last three days who told me the same thing over again. They would commend me for a job well done, they would say I am a strong girl, a rare breed lady who actually believes she can work to make a living. They would compare me with girls who are lazy,who think their bodies are their only means of survival and I’d laugh, because these girls also work. We just have different definitions of work. It’s easy for them, you see and sometimes I wonder what it would feel like to have someone take care of me, who would spoil me just a little bit. Strong girls feel it the most. All that attention and for what? Business, money.
There are times when the strong girl wants more than a quickie, more than ringing some random guy to come give her his penis for a day, more than return home late at night to an empty kitchen because she has no time to cook and no one to notice that all she has eaten in three days is a burger. True, being able to compete in a world where the fittest survive is a thing of pride, being able to treat yourself to a weekend of pleasure brings a level of satisfaction and it’s scary how people see the strength from afar but never realize that we sometimes get depressed.
Failure is a dangerous thing. This is probably why we fight always, against failure. But failure happens sometimes and the world does not think you can fail. The little boy I teach has learned to say everyday that the downfall of a man is not the end of his life. I teach him this everyday and I teach him that a man can actually fall, what matters is that he dusts himself and rises up again. I teach him this because I want him to understand that people still fail and so he should never see anyone as perfect.
Us strong ladies are seen as perfect. Our love is perfect, our hate is perfect, our silence and laughter are perfect and we live our seemingly perfect life praying that someone sees, understands and respects our imperfection.
Tarfa told me today that I am a strong lady who at 24 has achieved a lot. I said to him, I have not achieved a lot and I am not satisfied. I get depressed and sad sometimes but people never see it because I hide it behind a smile, keep up appearances because no one will believe that you are crying.
Yesterday, I cried. I cried after I was stopped at the traffic light, I cried when I drove my sleek red corolla to a five star hotel, I cried when I felt the urge to cry, with the car windows wound up and when the traffic light turned red, I cried and when cars hooted, I parked the car and cried so hard, I cried because I wanted to cry, because there’s so much to say and no one trustworthy enough to say it to but a God I believe exists so I cried and prayed and even as I type this, I’m watching a band sing songs and I’m crying. These tears are not of sadness.
Sometimes, our challenges are overwhelming and its sad that we can only imagine how life would be if all we had to do was dream and have someone else provide the resources to see these dreams become a reality.
Here’s where I find satisfaction, that in dreaming, we can get anywhere; that in fighting, life’s stones feel like softball; that in loving, it never gets boring; that in giving, we never lack; that in living, death is a joke.