I FEEL LIKE I’VE DIED SO MANY TIMES

deathpic

Dreamily sitting on my porch,

Watching the birds chirp,

The dogs bark and mothers’ calls,

Visions so real,

The stampede, screams and such chaos,

I feel like I died so many times.

For one I see the soldiers coming,

The children are orphaned, spouses rendered lonely.

They made life unbearable,

They locked this place and said no one should enter.

They shot at anyone who disobeyed.

They ate and watched others starve.

They laughed,

The little girl cried for she hadn’t had her medication.

My heart burned, it was a hopeless situation.

For it’s hard to say that I dream of the future

It’s hard to say that I fall asleep at all

Taking a walk down the streets make me no better

And I lie here, sad, confused, lonely

Music loud and blaring, relief pills make it all worse

Because I feel like I’ve died so many times

Memories so real, memories so far

Can’t relate with the present

Then I find solace in reincarnation thoughts

But if I be reincarnated, then I should be glad

For I have been given another chance

To do what, I ask?

Then I find solace in my madness

Perhaps, depression has taken its toll

It be time to die one more time,

But if I die one more time,

Then how do I know for a fact

What it is I feel?

Then I find solace in a home,

One where all minds think alike,

Loud and inaudible voices in my head,

And the yells of other inmates insane.

I still feel like I died so many times.

Fading into the deep beyond.death

So if the feeling still lingers,

After all I’ve tried to suppress it,

Then it remains a mystery,

Whether or not I died at all.

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2 thoughts on “I FEEL LIKE I’VE DIED SO MANY TIMES

  1. Oh my! My God!!

    This is beautiful poetry, Aidee. I . . . I . . . I really am speechless.

    ”Then I find solace in my madness” – my fave line.

    Like

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