ON PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING
ON SEX AND FLIRTS
Girl meets boy in a party. Girl likes boy, boy likes girl…boy and girl flirt, boy takes girl home, boy and girl do the nasty. No way I’ll advocate against flirting but doing it with everyone is a disease called…nymphomania!
And oh it doesn’t affect boys but if a girl does it with every Obiora, Abdul and Lekan (not referring to anyone in particular), then something is wrong. You don’t do it with a man just because you like his eyes or his scattered teeth. Where is your dignity when your fingers and even your toes combined can’t count the number of men you have ‘done it’ with? I honestly am ashamed for that girl the group of men I met today were talking about. They called you a cheap girl who should be in Oluku! Yes they called the girl, who I don’t even know a whore! And her parents sent her to study o.. Thank you very much, I love my old-fashioned lifestyle.
I used to love exams, that’s past, back when I was in secondary school and could afford to win the hearts of my teachers because I spoke better English than my colleagues. Somehow the university system has taught me to work harder if I have to make all A’s. Exams aren’t what I look forward to but what can a girl do eh?
Asides choosing to ‘be as bare as when I was born’ whenever I’m alone in my room, pretending to not hear a knock even if its deafening and the ‘knocker’ is screaming my name loud, telling the last person on a bank queue that I’m behind him/her while I go to sit comfortably, singing out loud in the midst of a crowd, getting carried away looking at a bird flying and wondering why I’ve never seen a bird fall from the sky etc… I have no habits. I do know someone who has the disgusting habit of picking his nose, staring at ‘the thing’ for some seconds, rolling it up, and if no one’s watching (or i pretend not to watch) eats it! Yes, he chews on it like food!! And he is a grown man o…Rubbish. Everyone has habits though, good or bad, its still a habit.
ON BREAK-UPS AND MAKE-UPS
No I don’t have men issues but if you were fortunate enough to be the man I so loved and we broke up and after 1 month or more, you decide to have a throwback and you miss the “good times we had together” and you regret not giving your all into what used to be US and you want it all back blah blah blah…here’s the thing, you are past. Past is dead. Dead is buried. Buried dead past is rotten and smelling! (Pheew!!) Let’s fast forward to present… If I throwback and the breakup was inevitable, then we could remain friends, no romance attached…strictly friend zone even if I’m not in an active romantic affair. Humans don’t eat their vomit, dogs and bitches do I hear.
ON FIFA WORLD CUP
I love sports and have tried to follow this game of soccer diligently. So for the second round I’ll support England and Spain. My predictions will be clearly aired on social networks. Trust me, my predictions are true. You might want to consult me before you place a bet…seriously! My charges are also reasonable.
I love you all diligent readers.