LITTLE THINGS I HATE TO LOVE ABOUT MAMA
I hear I act on impulse. I believe I do. When impulse tells me to hit someone bigger than me, I do it – impulse never tells me about the aftermath. When impulse tells me to scream for no reason, I do it! Impulse seems to be my old time pal. Yes, so impulse told me to write about mama today and I find myself typing all these…and very fast too, so that impulse doesn’t make me change my mind – which is most unlikely. Okay, enjoy.
My mum loves talking; I think she talks too much. Now, no one who is not like me would think the same way. Mama makes it a point of duty to contact her independent kids, the ones who are beyond her watchful eyes so – err…honestly, I don’t look forward to mama’s call because I would have to answer questions, such as “Have you read your bible?”, “Did you go to church today?”, “Have you seen your brother today?”, How is your sister?”. She probably feels my siblings and I live really close. It’s cool though; I mean having a stalking mum is okay because a lot of people would give an arm to have one like mine. I am not giving her out for adoption.
Phone rings…“Erisco, I will be in town tomorrow and I want to spend the first day with you, the second day with your sister and the third day with your brother”…that was a really scary call, you know but my reply was “Yes ma…just make sure you bring foodstuff because my kitchen is empty”. It was the first time I would have my mum over at mine but I made no special preparations. On the day of her arrival, I called her in the morning to confirm that she had left the park. My plan was to go to the salon and hopefully be through with my hair before she arrived the city. In summary, mum arrived alright and I asked my sister to ‘mamasit’ her for an hour while my hair stylist was still busy with my hair. After making my hair, mama and I set on the journey to my humble abode where I stay with Julie, my stuffed animal roommate.
“Erisco, this your place is far o”.
I said nothing. I intentionally walked home with her. You know, its called exercise right?
“Ha! This is the first and last time I will come to this village you stay o, Shuo!”.
I smiled inside because there was more to see in the house. When we finally got home, she headed straight to the kitchen where she found my pot of spoiling concoction rice that I cooked the night before out of starvation. Truth is I had it stored in the refrigerator; the spoiling one in the pot was placed there intentionally to make her think twice before asking me to cook soup. Mum doesn’t consider how tired her first daughter is…and I have that title…ezinne.
So I tried to make mama feel comfortable, turning on my generator when power went out so she didn’t feel much heat, keeping her company when the generator ran out of fuel even though we were practically ‘yawn-talking’, just so mama is comfortable.
I love my mum…but darn! Do mothers talk too much or is it just my mum. Just so she didn’t feel uncomfortable, I had to pay attention to her and the movie I was watching at the same time. At a point, I just pretended like I was listening…”Erisco, mama Tega don born o”, “Erisco, why is your printer in this place and not on this spot”? “Erhime, you know you should always pay visits to your siblings thrice weekly”…and the talk goes on and on and on.
I had to tell her,
“Mama, you and I can’t live together until I move to a house with more than one bedroom, you are better off with your other daughter who loves talking”.
Wow, was I relieved when she finally slept off…and that was when I, out of frustration, used my headphone to listen to the words coming out from the actors in the movie I was watching. Whether mama would like to stay with me in my tiny apartment is a question I have a sure answer to…NO! The good thing about our relationship though, is that I can tell her that she talks too much without having her hate me…