As long as the world exists, people will judge. They will judge based on a single story and their tongues will always be an instrument of murder! We are terribly suicidal. For the sake of those who get judged without even getting the chance to speak for themselves, I write this.
The truth is, understanding everything someone else goes through isn’t exactly easy. Everyone has challenges and everyone typically wants to handle his, then his family’s before thinking of one who doesn’t bear his name. Human nature is selfish and we live with that. Every so often, we find few people who do an act of kindness and these ones are celebrated when in actual fact, kindness should be a habit. Kindness isn’t my focus just now, its judgement.
Aminatu was on the bus with 12 other passengers who were traveling from Onitsha to Benin (both cities in Nigeria). She began singing out loud a few minutes into the journey and it was clear to everyone that she wasn’t in her right frame of mind. Every now and then, she would beg for the driver of the bus to stop so she would urinate and each time he did, she would come down and try to find a decent place to pee. The first time this happened, passengers in the bus yelled at her, advising her to urinate anywhere rather than find a more comfortable place to answer nature’s call. Aminatu wouldn’t budge. She searched until she found somewhere comfortable where she urinated. While some passengers grumbled, Kenneth defended her, telling them that she was sane enough to realize that she had to be decent. Each time Aminatu begged to be allowed to urinate, each time she went to urinate, tongues would wag. The old women would say she was a disgrace; young girls of nowadays just decide to get drunk for no reason. The men said Aminatu was lucky she wasn’t in Lagos, else she would be gang-raped. Some said she was a spoilt brat who just loved drinking alcohol. Only Kenneth assumed she must have been going through a whole lot to be so drunk.
Aminatu’s drunkenness got worse. An hour later, the bus arrived Benin park and all passengers got down. Kenneth sensed Aminatu would soon vomit and he was right. She vomited and urinated and when he asked for the help of older women to help wash her in the park bathroom, the women refused. They would never go near a spoilt brat like Aminatu. Kenneth helped wash her. Aminatu had calmed now and was starting to say sensible gibberish. When asked for the phone number of someone who would come pick her up from the park, Aminatu cried for her mother. “I want my mummy”, she kept crying. Kenneth dialled Aminatu’s mother who was in Enugu and couldn’t help her daughter. Again he dialled another phone number, this one was in another state and could not help either. Aminatu was then told to give the name of someone in Benin, she did and Osahon was called. He came to get Aminatu an hour later. During this time, Kenneth, who had an appointment, was told by the park staff not to leave because no one wanted to nurse a drunk 19 year old, now partially sober.
Aminatu was indulged by Kenneth. Apparently, she was going through a whole lot from her family, friends, studies and had become suicidal, she settled for drinks to calm her suicidal mind.
While people raise noses in disgust at her decision, I beg for us to listen. Many have resorted to the rash choice called suicide for the simple reason that they were judged by people who don’t know them. A lot of us ladies refuse to open up where abuse is concerned because we fear we will be judged. It’s unfair that as humans, we see first the wrong before we open our hearts to kindness.
My point here is this, try thinking of all possibilities before you decide to judge a human. We don’t always know where the shoe pinches. A little kindness could go a long way in the life of one person. Just one person. One kind act begins a chain reaction. I wouldn’t take the responsibility of paying the school fees of children I don’t know if someone never paid my school fees. But if you can’t afford to be kind, then please do well not to judge. Try not to judge others.
I love you all.