I have a lot to say concerning intelligence and incorporating our intelligence into our arguments. One of the lessons I learnt to accept last year was that there are people who have it better than me as regards intelligence, brilliance, wealth and every other thing imaginable, just as there are many people I have it a lot better than.
Also, the best way to make anything good of oneself is to associate more with people who are intellectually challenging. A relationship with friends who have it better, will definitely challenge one’s thinking capacity. You wouldn’t want to be left out so you try to keep pace. We all want to win.
I’m all for being opionionated. I’m in fact one with many opinions regarding many issues. But we all have to be wise in our arguments. It is absolutely ridiculous to, in the name of winning an argument, resort to insults on an opponent.
I do not see why everyone has to agree with whatever it is one person posits.
As usual, this rant is borne out of my background observation of how a lot of people argue. What is attractive about wise argument is the ability to constructively air one’s opinions without trying to force it into the throat of those who refuse to agree.
I occasionally visit twitter, arguably the best social network to air different opinions with as few as 140 characters.
On this platform was an argument about un-originality associated with Nigeria-made products and what Nigerian manufacturers should do to improve on the originality of their products so that people would not be skeptical about purchase. One party started the argument and, as usual, attracted the opposing party.
This is a very interesting topic as the situation of Nigeria economy isn’t exactly favourable at this time. On one hand, one would be have to agree that most Nigerians lack originality and on another hand, that no invention is exactly original. Aidee followed the conversation until…
“You went to school, yet was raped at 17″, ” The kinda family I came from ensured I wasn’t raped. I think you should worry about yours
These words were typed by a WOMAN, not an ignorant and illiterate girl but a woman.
It is very shameful that despite the increasing awareness of rape and the advise to stop blaming the victims, to stop victim-shaming so that girls (who make up the majority of victims) would be bold enough to speak out, some women still deem it fit to rub a rape story before a victim’s face and in the name of what? Winning an argument.
And we wonder why rape victims refuse to speak out? Isn’t this just wicked? A young lady who was raped at 17 told the whole world about her rape experience, knowing that many people would not believe her, she still came forward to tell her story. Yet, after the humiliation she bore from the public eyes, the disgust thrown at her and after she had decided to keep on with her life, some woman brings it up again to mock her? Where is it written that one’s family can protect one from rape? What would become of the younger generation if they grow up to see posts like this?
I published a post about harassment and the victim (Read here). It was when some of my friends spoke out after being sexually harassed by someone they respected that I understood the mentality of many people. A lot of people did not believe the victims until the accused publicly apologised.
True, it is wrong to base a decision on a single story. However, we should understand that, even if you do not believe the story of a rape victim, you should try to keep your doubt to yourself. While you are convinced that the accuser is a liar, ask yourself another question, ‘what if she isn’t lying?’. Keep your opinions to yourself until you are absolutely sure.
It should not take one who has experienced being forcefully penetrated by someone, one who has been sexually harassed to know how tough it is to speak out. Sadly, it seems like a whole lot of people lack empathy. Quite shameful that women are the ones who drag themselves down the pit of hate.
Indeed, we have a long way to go but we won’t give up on our fight against rape.