PLEA: This is an unedited and impulsive rant. If you find any grammatical error in it, kindly do a mind edit.

Whether the debate as to which of the two sexes (male, female) is more victimized in today’s world, will die anytime soon is not known to me. If I was to give an absolute answer though, I’d say the talk intends to live a very long life, perhaps longer than that of Methuselah.

I worry. I worry for our girls who are soon to become women. I worry that we are too immersed in our culture that we fail to evolve with changing times. I worry about what we’ve learned as ladies, about our struggles, about our fights and I wonder whether I’ll live to see the day our myopic mentality is trashed.
I worry about the lady who is taught to live a life that revolves around a man, I worry about our naivety. Indeed, we are naive. It is the female who does not pray tremendous success on herself that troubles me. That lady who wishes only to meet the man who will do her the favour of making her his wife. That lady who will only feel secure in the arms of a man, or his house, or both. I worry for her. I want to tell her to dream wild in stead of wallow in self-pity, to live rather than search for validation from a human with a penis but when I do, she tells me to mind my business.

I cannot mind my business, lady. This life, this one you live shows me you are weak. I cannot let you lead the younger ones to believe this is all they should live for. A man!
Love. We should all love. Indeed, we all deserve to be loved. Self-love though, what else can compete with it? Dear lady, self-love is what you need.

I worry for our mothers…and fathers…and family who do not see that the negative pressure is depressing. This is how they die. A man, check; love, check; offspring, check; fulfilment?

Dear girl, please know that you can dream. You should dream. You should dream of love, friendship, life, family, success. Learn too that when you do find love (after giving yourself love) and you give love in return and then love takes you for granted, you can try again but you should never hold on to love that is not yours. Because there is a beautiful life ahead. See it! Did you not dream of it? That life of fulfilment? Don’t you know that you can share your love evenly among people who desperately need it? Never hold on to love abused over and over.

Dear girl, do not limit your dreams. Read, study, learn, work. You can scale hurdles and enjoy victory and not be restrained in the house of one who takes all of you and gives you none of him.

Dear girl, look into the mirror, see the beauty and grace that is you and tell yourself one more time, that your voice too will be heard Dear girl, you are a phenomenal woman.




    1. Look at you! You’re working on draft when I finished all these 10 minutes after it occurred to me. Be there, you hear? Don’t write as it enters. Last last, I posted first. Ela oju kan. Lol.
      Seriously though, our girls have a whole lot of unlearning to do and I’d so love to read your post on this topic because it is one that is dear to me.


What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.