AIDEE ERHIME

COCKTAIL OF RANDOM THOUGHTS

IS THAT HOW YOU USE TO DO?

​Yes you, you are subscribed to the blog and you cannot even send a mail to ask why we have not made an update this year. Is that how you use to do? Don’t even try to correct my perfect Nigerian English here! I’m fine with it, thank you. 

Side note: I just checked my weight and discovered I’ve gained 1kg out of the 4kg that I lost last month. This calls for celebration and celebration is what I am doing just now. 

I really wanted the first post for 2017 to be a reflection of the progress we have made so far. I have been using the word ‘we’ very often and it feels good.

Okay enough yapping!

Last year, I started seriously working with a few girls and taking my interest in cosmetic Skincare science more seriously. There were many challenges, still are, but we’ve waded through them like it’s nothing! 


The major challenge was really not my laziness but finance. We needed money to do a lot but when we could not get the necessary financing, we decided to start up and grow up. 

We have made some progress and really planned to make announcement on the first of February but forces decided to draw us back so we will be making this big announcement in March. 

Meanwhile, the blog may relocate to somewhere else. Trust me, I’m really trying to convince our brand consultant to let me keep this blog. It’s been up and running for nearly 7 years and it means a lot to me. Sadly, she is not one to be easily convinced so for ease and in the name of building a personal brand, the blog may have to move in with the business.

What the business is?

Do you know Aidee Erhime? How long have you been subscribed to this blog? Do you follow her on any of her social media accounts, especially Facebook and LinkedInIf you do, you’d probably have caught a hint about what she believes in and lives for. 

First I am a scientist, then a teacher and a businesswoman. I strongly believe we live to give. There are people who have it worse than we do, want to be better and simply need a push. I push just as I get pushed. I believe we can make the world better using the little or big resources that we have and I am very attached to young people for reasons I probably won’t understand just yet. 

I currently volunteer as trainer with a Non-governmental organization and am working with a few students in a government secondary school in Abuja where my co-trainer and I teach them skills they need to survive when they finally get to experience life alone as adults outside the protection of their guardians. 

I also spend my evenings everyday helping some young people with academic work and gardening. In the mornings, you’ll find me having conversations with my plants – Vera, Eva, Love and Rosa – who provide raw materials for my experiments on skincare science (All four of them were accidentally murdered some days ago by neighbours).

I have always nursed a certain big dream and pursued it relentlessly but when it seemed like help was not forthcoming, I decided to take a different approach to reach the goal. 

My many ways to one goal


Anyway, this different approach is the reason the blog may have to relocate and so when we get to it, it’d be nice to have oh ye faithful subscribers to cheer me on. You have always been there and I’m very grateful.  It’s not a business as much as it is a movement. You’ll find out about it when we launch.

Relocation and the fact that I now have downlines who kinda look up to me, means I have to be careful with what I say. It’s hard yo! I had written a post and had to keep it saved in draft just because…sighs!

But we grow everyday and because we believe in making impact, we watch what we say and how we act so for these reasons, we can’t back down. 

Here’s me removing cobwebs from the blog, welcoming us all to the new year and leaving you with this picture of me wearing my beautiful smile. You all are beautiful…

…And I love you.

Aidee.

February 5, 2017 Posted by | EDUCATION | , , , , , , | 3 Comments

THE JJC’S GUIDE TO LIVING IN ABUJA

​The first time I visited Abuja, it was for love. Not love for the city but love for a man and I do believe that’s a good enough reason to travel miles and risk one’s life, yes? Yes. When I eventually fell in love with the city, it was partly because I was in love with a man who was in love with the city. It’s like loving a certain football team because one’s lover is in love with it. However, love between man and lady fell apart but did not take with it love for the city (Too many ‘loves’ for one paragraph I know, I love to love). 

I thought I knew what it meant to work for money because, well I have never been a lazy girl when it comes to working hard for money. I brought to Abuja my business experience which I had gathered from my 7 years stay in Benin and my 1 year in Benue state. Abuja laughed at me. 


I remember once when I drove into town from the airport and took a quick glance at the gas gauge. I noticed I needed to top up the fuel and it was getting late so I stopped to ask a man to direct me to the nearest filling station. He told me that I had passed the nearest one and that the next one was very far but if I could do a reverse and drive one-way, I could go to the fill in station behind me. 

I did not want to take such a risk because I was not on a one-way drive but I still really needed to top up. While negotiating what best decision I could take, two other men came to meet the man, he told them what the matter was and they agreed with his suggestion that I do one-way on a busy highway. That’s when I heard the statement again from one of them, for the umpteenth time, “you no get mind, this car too big for you sef”. I did not lose my temper, no. I simply drove away smiling because in Abuja, everyone is a small girl who does not wear makeup and fancy clothes but has the audacity to have a tiny frame.

Here I learned that no one takes anyone serious who does not look like a rich man. Many times, my sister had tried to no avail to put so much makeup on my face and style me before I stepped out. She soon gave up and I soon got frustrated because no one would listen to me when I went to lobby for contracts. I looked and still look like a little girl. 

Abuja is changing me. It teaches one to spend time and money on appearance, to pretend to be someone else who has it all even when he really stays in a cramped up space and while Lagos teaches you you to ‘hustle’, Abuja teaches you how to ‘package’ your hustle. The packaging is what people buy.  

For anyone who has thoughts of moving to Abuja to start a life, take this as a free tutorial on what you must do to blend in. 

1. Dress well: This is a no-brainer and a tough thing to do if you’re used to the quick Lagos life or like me, the easy Benin life where no one really cares about your looks. You could in those cities, start your day by throwing on a Tee over dirty Jeans and a pair of flip-flops. Here you have to ensure that even if you opt for a casual look, you do not look ‘cheap’. You cannot afford to overlook your dressing. Your clothes must flatter your body and your flip-flops belong to your bathroom no matter how fancy. The saying that you are addressed by the way you dress holds true in this city. This was a hard lesson for me and I learned it after I was told that I would not go with a certain team to see a certain man who may have given me a certain contract and the reason was that I was not dressed in a certain way. You also do not want to be wooed, for ladies, by drivers and security men so take time to dress well. 

2. Make-up: Powder, lipgloss, anything…just makeup. It does not matter if you are male or female. Whether you are going to the backyard store or to your bathroom or to the mall, ensure your face is looking bright because you do not know where you’ll have to pitch a business to a potential investor.  Always make sure your hair looks neat.

3. Always have specific answers: You know how you meet someone and he asks you what you do and you say, ‘well, I do many things’? Stop it! Hold it! What exactly do you do? No one will take you serious when you say you do many things. Even if you have not started doing something, call yourself by the name you’ve always dreamed you’d be called. You have to sell yourself and you can’t do this by being unsure of what your profession is. 

4. Learn the art of connecting: This is almost like number 3 above and yes, connecting is an art. We meet people everyday and make connections. You must seize every opportunity to let people know what you do. Many meetings I’ve attended in Abuja always end with a connect session which is even more important than the ‘item 7’. Your business card must be with you at all times and you must learn to smile even when you are extremely upset. 

ON DRIVING:

Abuja has good roads, so good you may not realize you’ve been over speeding. Mondays and Fridays, the thieving FRSC officials are always on the look for free money so they stop cars and accuse them of beating traffic light. If you know you are innocent, do make sure your doors are locked and your windows are wound up. Do park your car and lock it if you must attend to them but if you forget these rules and they manage to enter your car, you don’t have to bribe them. No one will fine you for beating traffic light. It still hurts that I fell into their trap and listened to the jargon they said about me paying a fine. No fines please. 

If you must drive at night, don’t stop your car to do aproko. Car thieves are everywhere. Park your car in secure locations and like me, put your big handbag in the boot.

If you won’t be driving, ensure you take my father’s advise and ‘la oju e’, Open your eyes. One-chance people are everywhere. Don’t contribute to discussions between passengers no matter how tempted you are to join in. If you sit by the extreme right or extreme left, hold on to your purses, bags or wallets. Some silly boys have started snatching bags and running into the bush.

ON ROMANCE

This is for the ladies and some men.

Remember how Abuja people package? Good. Don’t fall for a guy because he drives a G-wagon. Speaking of G-wagon, these Abuja people make it look like taxi. Anyway, it is possible that the guy wooing you borrowed the car from his friend’s father because he has to look good and package well. That he gave you his business card and is speaking British English does not guarantee that he is real. That he wears agbada and talks like a big man does not mean he is rich enough to be your sugar daddy. Do your research or pay me to do it for you. 

I have never really bothered to find out what a man specifically means when he says ‘let me take care of you’ but I do know that many Abuja daddies like to say it. That statement is like an anthem for them especially when they sense that you are new in the city. Be very careful.
These here are some really important things to do if you want to have a fairly easy stay within your first few months in Abuja. I love this city and pray hard everyday that I marry a man who loves to come back to Abuja after we tour the whole world. I’ve learned tough lessons here, made good friends and am now starting to really enjoy living the life of a spinster. 

Business in Abuja

P.S: We are organizing a business masterclass. If you click on the picture above, you may find something very interesting about me. I’ll be giving updates about this class on social media and/or in subsequent posts. Meanwhile, please follow me on all popular social media platforms (including Linda Ikeji Social). Just type my names, ‘Aidee Erhime’ and voila! My beautiful face!

PPS: JJC means Johnny Just Come i.e., a newbie.

I hope all that I wrote above makes sense and helps someone somewhere sometime. 

Much love,

Aidee.

November 13, 2016 Posted by | EDUCATION, LIFE | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

MARRIAGES MADE IN HELL

​Recently, I met with two women who used to work part-time for me. Both women are married, have children, are young and are financially poor. Both women also have educated husbands who have no jobs so whenever I see them, I usually pay them much more than they have worked for just because of my soft spot for the children. 

They came to see me on different days this week, both looking malnourished but rather than give them money again, I thought I should help them set up businesses. When the first woman came, I asked her what kind of business she could set up with a certain amount of money. She told me what she could do with even less amount but her mindset was just too shallow. I wanted something else for her that would bring much more profit so I suggested she managed another business that I had planned a while ago and she was extremely excited about it. There and then, we planned our budget and she went ahead to find a suitable location for her proposed business. Everything would fall in place, I could see the future of what we had planned and I was ready to pool every resource available to get her there. 


The following day, she came to see me. 

“Ehn aunty, about that business, my husband thinks it is not wise of me to go into it because of my 10 month old baby”.
Say what??? After talking to a few people who were willing to help her raise capital, she comes to me with such a flimsy excuse?

I admit, I felt anger and pity for her at the same time.

The other women said that her husband told her that she would become proud if she starts to make money before him. She did not want to lose her marriage. 
It’s a shame, I tell you, how marriages that are meant for two people to support each other is just an institution for jealousy. Is it not better to be unmarried and free to make choices that to be stuck in a marriage that holds back your success?
It was sometime in 2014 when a young lady vowed to her lover that she would never to be as foolish as her mother who decided to leave all her certificates and degrees for full time housewife duties and let herself be bullied by her husband. Even when her lover tried to explain to her that it was her father’s duty to mould his wife – by way of encouragement – into a fulfilled woman, the young lady would have none of it. 

She constantly blamed her mother for everything that was wrong in the family, for her father’s bad habits and her phobia for marriage and she wished that her mother would stop being lazy, but the fact is that somewhere in the words that her lover spoke to her is an element of truth that this young lady would have to accept. The woman would always want to listen to her man and the duty falls on him to support her or at least explain clearly to her why a choice she wants to make is probably not the best. 
I’m unhappy with those families; the women for being too weak and the men for being weaker. It’s a shame the children will be the ones who suffer for the poor decisions their parents made. I have done my bit in helping the women and I now understand clearly why I probably will not bother with married women but will put my entire focus on young unmarried girls who think that marriage is an institution that they can go into because they think that what they feel at the time is love and that the earlier they get married to anyone who comes along, the better for them. 
It’s a big shame on our society that some people will continue to remain poor and beggarly no matter how much you want to help them, and all in the name of marriage.

Photo by Aidee

October 7, 2016 Posted by | LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP, RANTS | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

MY DREAM DREAM

Once in a while, I get asked the ‘five-year question’: Where do you see yourself in five years?
The last time I was asked by a friend, my response was almost the same as my past responses which was ‘In my house, upstairs, sipping wine from a beautiful glass and looking through my window at the vast expanse of land – my land- and thinking to myself how hard work pays’.

Continue reading

April 12, 2016 Posted by | RANDOM THOUGHTS | , , , , | 2 Comments

UNTIL DIVORCE DO US PART

As a young girl, I danced and danced and admired the kids who featured in this video. I always wanted to have this song as my wedding theme song. I always wanted to dance to this song with my new husband. I still tell people who care to listen that if I chose to get married, then I will make sure the DJ plays it (the song). “With this ring, I do thee wed until…until divorce do us part”. Despite the fact that I hate to think divorce as an option, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to change the usual, boring “Till death do us part” vow. I’ll just keep my fingers crossed and wait for a proper marriage proposal, maybe I’ll spice up my wedding a little. UNTIL DIVORCE DO US PART! Cool

June 9, 2013 Posted by | LIFE, love | , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Totally Blank

exams

My eyes are red and my temper beyond control. I could kill anyone who dares smile at me and feel no remorse whatsoever. After reading so hard, I wrote the first of my final year exams today. “You may now begin”, was all I needed my to hear from the invigilator as I turned the question paper. What happened thereafter, I can only say amidst tears. Head blank and bladder instantly filled with urine, nothing in the question paper looked familiar…that’s an exaggeration. I mean, I didn’t know where to start! What’s more? I got all dizzy as I haven’t had a meal since yesterday (this is because I was to engrossed in reading). Then the all familiar, terrible ulcer decided to knock. I couldn’t bear it. Last year, I simply walked out of the examination hall and I was about doing same when I remembered how hard I struggled to get my school fees. I just can’t afford to give UNIBEN that amount again. Tears clouded my eyes and I couldn’t fight it so I gave in. The ulcer just added to my pain and I was light headed. I could tear my question paper and yell “TO HELL WITH SCHOOL”, that moment. I simply kept telling myself to not give up. What would my kids say if they knew mummy dropped out of school? *sigh*. I’m at work now, no more tears, I’ll just hope that the little  nonsense I wrote won’t give me an extra year in this stressful institution. Since my parents aren’t here to punish me, I’ll punish myself.. ‘NO FOOD FOR ME TODAY’! *side talk*, I’m not even hungry.

Yours in Tears

Aidee

March 22, 2013 Posted by | RANDOM THOUGHTS | , , , , , , , | 12 Comments