AIDEE ERHIME

COCKTAIL OF RANDOM THOUGHTS

ON DEPRESSION AND MENTAL AWARENESS

I recently stumbled on news about a 14 year old girl who committed suicide and streamed the whole process on Facebook live. Shortly after reading the news, I went ahead to do a little research on the girl and on a few others who also live-streamed their suicides. 

What I find disturbing is how people leave insensitive comments encouraging a suicidal person to go ahead. The girl whose news I first read apparently had a mother who, while watching her daughter on Facebook live, left a comment to tell her that life goes on and that the teenager was simply crying wolf. A mother! 


This week, I have heard about too many suicides that were encouraged by friends of the depressed person. 

How depression is a farce to many still baffles me. People get depressed and no one is really above it.

A former friend of mine once told me that depression is not real and that people who claim to be going through it are annoying attention-seekers. This from a very literate man. Seeing as he was someone I used to like a lot, I subconsciously assumed I was an attention seeker when some thoughts hit me. As such, I would not seek help anywhere but would cry my eyes out.

I’ve grown, I have learned. 

I recently put up a post on my Facebook page about how my teenage assistant was going through a confused phase in her life and how it occurred to me that my response could be what would make or break her.

There is a ‘movement’ of sorts on social media called ‘#iammentallyaware’ (@mentallyawareng). I suggest you go through their social media pages. There you’ll see, from testimonies of people, that depression respects no one. Perhaps the older we get, the easier we can deal with it but I may be wrong. 

Not everyone is strong enough to fight this thing. For years, I never smiled because I thought my teeth were too big; I never went braless because I thought my breasts were too small; I never let my hair down because I thought it was too full. It was a few days ago, when Olu and Otigs were helping me in the kitchen and discussing insecurities, that I realized I once felt insecure about my teeth, breasts and hair. There I was, in the kitchen wearing a spaghetti strapped top without my bra, laughing heartily with two beautiful men who had just complimented my culinary skills and my natural hair. I told them about how I once was in a relationship where he would constantly remind me that he liked big breasts and that my insecurity disappeared gradually when a friend whispered in my ear one day in church while pastor was preaching about insecurity, ‘see did I not tell you not to worry about your breasts?’ 

There used to be days when I would be angry with my father for not trying harder and with my mother for not being like some others. If they had tried harder, I would not be thinking about my bills when I was eighteen, I would not be carrying so many responsibilities at twenty-five, I would not be worried about food or rent or clothes, I would not lack if only try tried harder. With these thoughts came accusations, ‘perhaps this is why I can’t keep a man, there is something wrong with me’ and I would cry, write and cry. My last real breakup broke me into all shades of suicidal. 

That was years ago. These days, I have learned to let people go who want to go; to spend time building myself rather than crying over the past. 

Not everyone can deal with it the way I do. Remember I said I was suicidal? I also used to be extremely impulsive. What if I did something dangerous on impulse because I could not control my feelings? Indeed I could not control how I felt. I impulsively packed my bag around 3pm and got on the bus to Portharcourt. I arrived Port Harcourt at 12am.

Not everyone has someone to talk to, many feel no one will understand and the truth is, no one may truly understand the emotion. 

But if you feel the urge to encourage a suicidal person to go ahead and kill himself, I suggest you keep your thoughts to yourself and walk away rather than add to an already existing pain.

What they need is love and if you don’t have it to give, please look the other way. 

I love you all.

Aidee.

March 15, 2017 Posted by | EDUCATION, RANDOM THOUGHTS | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

IS THAT HOW YOU USE TO DO?

​Yes you, you are subscribed to the blog and you cannot even send a mail to ask why we have not made an update this year. Is that how you use to do? Don’t even try to correct my perfect Nigerian English here! I’m fine with it, thank you. 

Side note: I just checked my weight and discovered I’ve gained 1kg out of the 4kg that I lost last month. This calls for celebration and celebration is what I am doing just now. 

I really wanted the first post for 2017 to be a reflection of the progress we have made so far. I have been using the word ‘we’ very often and it feels good.

Okay enough yapping!

Last year, I started seriously working with a few girls and taking my interest in cosmetic Skincare science more seriously. There were many challenges, still are, but we’ve waded through them like it’s nothing! 


The major challenge was really not my laziness but finance. We needed money to do a lot but when we could not get the necessary financing, we decided to start up and grow up. 

We have made some progress and really planned to make announcement on the first of February but forces decided to draw us back so we will be making this big announcement in March. 

Meanwhile, the blog may relocate to somewhere else. Trust me, I’m really trying to convince our brand consultant to let me keep this blog. It’s been up and running for nearly 7 years and it means a lot to me. Sadly, she is not one to be easily convinced so for ease and in the name of building a personal brand, the blog may have to move in with the business.

What the business is?

Do you know Aidee Erhime? How long have you been subscribed to this blog? Do you follow her on any of her social media accounts, especially Facebook and LinkedInIf you do, you’d probably have caught a hint about what she believes in and lives for. 

First I am a scientist, then a teacher and a businesswoman. I strongly believe we live to give. There are people who have it worse than we do, want to be better and simply need a push. I push just as I get pushed. I believe we can make the world better using the little or big resources that we have and I am very attached to young people for reasons I probably won’t understand just yet. 

I currently volunteer as trainer with a Non-governmental organization and am working with a few students in a government secondary school in Abuja where my co-trainer and I teach them skills they need to survive when they finally get to experience life alone as adults outside the protection of their guardians. 

I also spend my evenings everyday helping some young people with academic work and gardening. In the mornings, you’ll find me having conversations with my plants – Vera, Eva, Love and Rosa – who provide raw materials for my experiments on skincare science (All four of them were accidentally murdered some days ago by neighbours).

I have always nursed a certain big dream and pursued it relentlessly but when it seemed like help was not forthcoming, I decided to take a different approach to reach the goal. 

My many ways to one goal


Anyway, this different approach is the reason the blog may have to relocate and so when we get to it, it’d be nice to have oh ye faithful subscribers to cheer me on. You have always been there and I’m very grateful.  It’s not a business as much as it is a movement. You’ll find out about it when we launch.

Relocation and the fact that I now have downlines who kinda look up to me, means I have to be careful with what I say. It’s hard yo! I had written a post and had to keep it saved in draft just because…sighs!

But we grow everyday and because we believe in making impact, we watch what we say and how we act so for these reasons, we can’t back down. 

Here’s me removing cobwebs from the blog, welcoming us all to the new year and leaving you with this picture of me wearing my beautiful smile. You all are beautiful…

…And I love you.

Aidee.

February 5, 2017 Posted by | EDUCATION | , , , , , , | 3 Comments

WHAT WENT WRONG?

This was first published as a Facebook note in 2011.


They had the best of times, and the worst. Both scaled through tough times, and kissed when it was good.
In him, she found a companion. In her, he found a sweetheart; loving, patient and of course, naughty. She was young and naive, he was mature and experienced but times passed and along came the hunger and thirst for more. He had not the ability to quench them. She had her short comings, he loved her as she was. But as is typical of young ones, she needed more.. More attention. She needed to feel safe with him. She felt him slipping away, she thought she deserved more. She wasn’t to blame, its how life is. 

He couldn’t meet up, he never paid attention. She needed to enjoy her youth, he couldn’t just take it all away! She had to play with fashion, flow with the tide. He had to be with his friends, spend some money, convince himself that she understood perfectly.
But she could understand no more. She was stuck with him, scared to leave, scared of change.
They deserved more, she deserved more. It had to happen, someday.
And when it happened, they both were apart.
Each wondering…. WHAT WENT WRONG?

September 24, 2016 Posted by | LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP | , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment