AIDEE ERHIME

COCKTAIL OF RANDOM THOUGHTS

BEING 25

​Last night, my neighbour may have slept with her pillows to her ears as I listened to and sang along with Michael W. Smith, “Your grace, your grace shines on me. Shines on me, shines on me, I’m everything with you. Shines on me, shines on me. It’s your grace”. 


I did a vigil last night and this song was all I sang. It was and is still on replay. 

It’s a clear Saturday and rather than dress up and go out, I just want to remain naked on my bed. Mama had to scold me for ignoring her calls and answering baby brother’s calls. Why blame me? I love my siblings and I feel responsible for them. I have watched them grow from new borns to toddlers and now to near-teenagers and I miss that I am not there to guide them in their decision making. I have read the letters they always sneak into my bag in the rare occasions that I visit home.

“I love you, big sis. I will never forget you”.

“Big sis, please come home next time. Daddy is very boring”.

“You are the best sister in the world”.

Tell me why I should forget people who think of me, pray for me, pray with me, scold me and tell the world about me? This is family. Family is everything!

I stare at my phone and wonder why this man keeps calling. This is weird. Few days ago, his call would have been promptly answered. We would talk for some time about life and work and he would seek my advise regarding some decisions he wants to make. Then he would express appreciation and be thankful for my wonderful soul. Now, these calls are a waste of time, they are like unwanted visitors trying to share my space with me when my space belongs to me and no one else. 

I do not want any more attention and have unconsciously filtered my friends – no time for past lovers, friends who have shallow discussions, people who type in shorthand etc. 

I would deactivate my Facebook if I had not sent out the link to companies where I applied for internship. Who knows when they decide to investigate? 

One thing that has always come easy to me is dreaming. I set a goal and fiercely reach for it. Birthdays aren’t at all holidays. If I needed a holiday, I’d give myself one. Working hard happens everyday so today, I begin to make new plans. The old plans do not seem to be working out and if anything, today reminds me that I do not have the luxury of making time look like a stopclock. 

It is a good thing dad taught me early on the importance of having backup plans. I think of the good man that I am proud of, who raised me and I look forward to the day I’ll bring home a man and have dad sit with and talk to him. 

Now that I think of it, I realize he has never really succeeded in making me talk about some boyfriend. He did try the other day I went home when he called me out and stammered some words, shifting uncomfortably on his chair. I had to save him the stress. “Daddy, I’m not dating anyone. If I am, I’ll tell mummy and she’ll tell you”. Fathers! One day he’ll read this, I know. 

It’s the start of my 25th year today and what makes it different from other days is the unsolicited attention I am getting. I have had to block all incoming calls on two of my phones while I placed the third phone on silent. I think the difference between today and yesterday is that I’m starting a new year but I still miss my family – siblings who always have my back, a mother who is more an older sister to have girl talk with and laugh over boys especially her boyfriend who happens to be my dad, a father who would forget all my sins and still welcome me with his breast and run around the house threatening ‘won’t you come and suck breast?’ because I used to love breast as a baby. I know he will call me later this evening and as usual tell me to go catch the goat that just ran past me because that’s my birthday present. Family is everything and I guess this is what I am grateful for today and always – Family. 

Happy 25 to the girl with the never-fading smile. 

Aidee Erhime

When all hope is lost and friends leave your side, those who are your true family will always be there for you through it all – Aidee Erhime

Aidee Erhime

November 5, 2016 Posted by | LIFE | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

STRENGTH

Smiling through it all…because they all come to pass and we learn while they pass…and if we lose those we hold so dear while we learn to drop all else and embrace family, embrace only those qualified to be called family, so be it. But we still manage a smile…through it all…and cry in the cover of the darkness because who else understands but the one with the shoe? Who else feels the pinch but the one with the bruised toe?

I will lift up my eyes to the hills from whence cometh my help. My help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth. He shall not suffer my foot to be moved. He that keeps Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep. My help comes from the Lord

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May 6, 2016 Posted by | RANDOM THOUGHTS | , , , , , | Leave a comment

‘hellish’ holiday

Boring holiday for me today. I wonder what it is that brought me home. People wonder why I keep saying I do not want to come home for holidays, at least, now it is all so glaring.

I had to visit the hospital today, not because I was sick but because my dad wanted me to. Now here is the ‘ish’, they had to reduce my age, by almost 7 years! yes!! 7 years, and yes, I did complain, but do i have a  choice? Daddy had a ‘reasonable explanation for it’. He is a civil servant and has to gain from the NHIS scheme that he applied for. As if that is not enough, I am being forced to go back to the hospital tomorrow for an X-ray.

Did I mention that I have been having  nightmares? No? What with the bad stories of people killing people all over the country…keep  you posted.

I know it has been a while since I last blogged. There is just so much to say and in so little time.

I am enjoying home though, a little. Big bro is returning from school hopefully on Wednesday and my darling annoying little sis, who is with me in the cafe at the moment is returning to school on Friday. sweet relief!

I will be getting my dongle soon, hopefully, that would save me the stress of having to come to the cafe and spending so much money just because i want to enjoy blogging.

My time is up and I have to go…..

 

October 15, 2012 Posted by | FICTION, RANDOM THOUGHTS | , , , | Leave a comment