AIDEE ERHIME

COCKTAIL OF RANDOM THOUGHTS

Just Because You Don’t Agree With Feminism Doesn’t Mean You Can Make Crap Up

Well I am actually putting this here for posterity sake. Opinions are welcome. Read full story on Godless Cranium’s blog.

Godless Cranium

I watched a video earlier about the 200 (or so) people who left an Amy Shumer show after she made jokes about Trump.

To be honest, I wasn’t impressed by the jokes or the fact that she called an audience member up on stage just to mock him because he said he wouldn’t vote for Hilary. However, that’s neither here nor there, since going to a comedy show often results in embarrassment for someone in the crowd.

I don’t really care that she used her free speech to politicize her comedy routine or that people used their feet to protest by leaving the show.

What I really took issue with is the person in the video (you can find the video at the end of this post) saying that Amy Shumer was a hypocrite because as a feminist, she had admitted to sexually assaulting a man who was drunk when she was in…

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November 2, 2016 Posted by | RANDOM THOUGHTS | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I MISS YOU

​I miss you, I find words to say that I do but words fail to express a certain feeling and people say it is called love – never expressly expressed and coming out as jargon so you find the scattered pieces and try to make sense of anything. 


In my lover, I’d see a gap that needs to be filled and promises that may never see fruition and in me, a fear that life’s unfairness would happen again…but I miss you and a kiss shared would prove that my strength may find flapping wings and escape to the skies, leaving me to the mercy of your kiss and memories of a love that went sour. 

Aidee

I miss you

I miss you

October 31, 2016 Posted by | LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP, SNIPPET | , , , | Leave a comment

TO THE MAN WHO LOVES ME

​My darling,

I see the passion in your eyes when you tell me how much you like me. I see the truth in the words you say. When you say I have been part of the drastic growth you have experienced and that I have helped greatly in shaping you to the man you currently are, I believe you. I know how desperately you wish I would remain a part of your life, not as a mere friend but as a lover, a partner and very likely a wife.


When you openly express your gratitude to me and do little things just to make me happy, I want to love you too. When I look at you, I see a man who listens. I see a man I can work with, dream with, live with. 

Mama once said it is better for a lady to be with the one who loves her. She will grow to love him, mama said. I believe her, more from experience than from obedience.

Image source: google images

I have loved men who do not deserve a microsecond of my attention and though I tell you when we have our beautiful talks, that I do not think about men as I should, I lie to myself and then to you! 

I lie like I do about the young man that I like a lot. The one in whom I see greatness in. The one I know I like, to that point that I usually find myself dreaming of making love to him. He is the first young man I’ve ever liked this much. I am scared that I will let what feelings I have for him take over my senses and this is why I do not look into his eyes when I talk to him. I know that he knows that I like him a lot. I know that he knows that I am scared of what may be an inevitable end – hate. I also know that he knows that I know that he likes me too. I fear that our likeness for each other is merely a facade, like dry gum swab which can easily be peeled off from a finger. Every time I think of him, I think I am letting lust get in the way of my feelings.

It is probably just his confidence that attracts me, or the fact that he is a work-in-progress, or perhaps his soft curly hair or his endless optimism. I want to convince myself that these are not reasons enough to like a man this much. 

I say he only likes my hips and loves my brain. These are not reasons enough, young lady! But do I care? 

I think I like his body too, young and adventurous. I want to know, how strong is his game? Will he kiss my nipples and bite them just like I want? Will he let his small man stay in me even after he comes? Will he smell my hair and say that he loves me? Will he stare at my body and marvel at its beauty?

This young man likes me, I know. He said it to me the other day. He said,’ ‘I love you’ and I smiled because somewhere in my heart is a small voice that nudges me to take my time and somewhere else is a loud voice that pushes me to go on and live! 

So I push away my fear and one day I say to him, ‘I think I love you too’ or did I? I don’t think so. These words I fear to say but caution to the wind is accepting that I want him in me and telling him same, seeing each other every other week to fulfil our sexual cravings and knowing that the love he declared for me is nothing compared to the one he shares with the other lady who covers her hair. 

This adventure saddens and excites me and each dose of excitement pulls me away from the knowledge that genuine love would happen for me but I say to myself, this young man loves me and this is a lie.

So my darling, when you tell me that you are in love with me, I think of the men who have said same to me. 

When you say you never want to see me suffer, I think you are reading to me a script. 

When you say you admire my strength and affection, I think you are merely trying to buy into my weakness. 

When you scoff and say you can never marry a woman from your tribe, I think of those who said same to me. 

When you can’t control the urge to hold my hands, I think you need reassurance that life can be lived and dreams can come true. I do not let myself think that you hold my hands because you love me. 

I brush away thoughts of us together, not because I do not find you worthy but because whether or not I accept it, I am a broken lady. Look beyond the strength I exude and see the fear I nurse. Loving a man is never enough. I’d love to love you beyond your expectations, to cheer you through your journey into success. Indeed you’ve seen the extent to which I go for those I love but love shared to all is to me better than love lavished on one. 

Do not believe what I say about the mistakes I made with past love. Do believe that they do not stop me from loving but do not believe that I have not taken down lessons from them; mental lessons that play out when another comes to declare love to me. 

I want to love you in a special way but I can’t. Knowing how I’d thence be called your partner and would not be able to declare the love I have for others without first wondering how it would make you feel, scares me. Knowing how that special love would eat into my soul that I’d be in a level of social bondage, irritates me. I’d rather love everyone, my darling, and love you same way. So no, I cannot give you that special love you crave.

September 1, 2016 Posted by | love | , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

FICTION: COLOURS WASHED AWAY

You are on your way home where you’ll be spending the Christmas holiday. Your friend, who you paid a visit, sees you off to the park and waves goodbye as he watches the bus leave. You adjust properly on the seat where you are cushioned between a very fat woman who’s wearing cheap, tight bracelets and two other people; a young man and an elderly woman. The bus is in motion and the elderly woman who sits on your right starts to sing.
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February 12, 2016 Posted by | RANDOM THOUGHTS | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

OF HARASSMENT, SHAMING AND THE VICTIM

Speaking out in the face of harassment, especially when it concerns women has always been a part of what I stand for. I am editing this post in the hope that it won’t see the light of the day. This whole post was first written in May, 2015. At the time, it was packed with loads of emotions. Knowing as I am one who writes on impulse and never goes back to reading what I write before hitting ‘publish’, I saved the first draft, then came back to it later in the year, twice. This is its third edit, bereft of many personal details and as of now, I don’t know that I’ll publish it. It’s a topic that I used to be passionate, yet ignorant about until May, 2015. This blog is an archive of sorts and I beg my inner demon to grant me permission to publish this.
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January 13, 2016 Posted by | RANDOM THOUGHTS | , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

FULL OF LUST

…Something I was working on, ITS INCOMPLETE! I wanted to test my skills, I know I have not perfected it but oh well, it’s worth the try. DO NOT READ IF BELOW 18 YEARS OLD!!!

She sits and shuts her eyes. All things seem right. All things seem to fall in place, this worries her because, for once, she has no reason to worry. Music from her stereo has her dreaming of the day she would see him again.

She would run to hug him, maybe kiss him and tell him she missed him. She would lock her hands in his and grin from ear to ear, like a child who won a new toy.

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December 1, 2014 Posted by | FICTION, love, LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP, RANDOM THOUGHTS | , , , , | 2 Comments

MASTURBATION: TO BE OR NOT TO BE?

 

Overtime, I have avoided this topic for one reason: the fear of being misunderstood and criticized by church people. However, the human mind has the exclusive right to ask questions no matter how incomprehensible. Besides, I started this blog because I needed a means to say what was on my mind. Therefore, I shall beforehand appeal to the ‘judges’ to bypass this post, pretend like you never read it, and not stone me for bringing up this topic and for the benefit of those who hate to read because all they see is ‘big big grammar’, I shall as much as possible, avoid bogus words. Also, I would appreciate what opinions you readers have as I have to teach my future child(ren) about this topic and I need to know what exactly to say to them.

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November 26, 2014 Posted by | EDUCATION, LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP, RANDOM THOUGHTS | , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

ON PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING

ON SEX AND FLIRTS
Girl meets boy in a party. Girl likes boy, boy likes girl…boy and girl flirt, boy takes girl home, boy and girl do the nasty. No way I’ll advocate against flirting but doing it with everyone is a disease called…nymphomania! Continue reading

June 18, 2014 Posted by | RANDOM THOUGHTS | , , , , , , | 6 Comments

JUDE’S CROSS

MR IBEH ANDRE NNANNA IS BACK AGAIN. I MISSED HIS WRITINGS… READY OR NOT, HERE WE GO…

I swear to God if I knew she had a terminal ailment I would have given her more attention, ‘oh God this suddenness, see how pale she looks, God, oh God please let this cup pass over me, please God, I promise to love and care for her, I would change my ways for the better, oh God please hear my prayers………, “
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March 13, 2014 Posted by | LIFE, Love Haven | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment